How to stop Negative Thinking completely.

If you are someone who finds yourself constantly thinking negatively, you think negatively about yourself, about your career, your job, people around you and you are at a point where you realize that it is constantly happening and you don’t know how to stop it, then you are privileged to read the steps am going to list out below.

Am going to share with you 3 steps on how to get rid of this addiction of negative thinking.

The reason am sharing this is because I’ve been through the same at a point in my life and I have gotten so many questions from friends and family who are passing through the same situation.

Questions like: “I can’t seem to throw away self-destructive thoughts. Everything is overwhelming. How do you fight against unhealthy thoughts?” Or “How do I deal with that feeling that I’m not good enough?” Or “I feel like everyone is against me. How do I get over that?”

So, if any of these sounds even remotely familiar to you, then we are going to talk about strategies on how to get out of this mindset ASAP because it is having an impact on your mental, emotional, spiritual well-being and your career/business.

Step 1:

Become aware of what you are thinking.

To stop negative thinking, you need to know exactly what those negative thoughts are. You need to know where they are coming from and you need to shine a light on them because without knowing what we tell ourselves, those thoughts would just continue to tip in deeper and deeper within us and continue to multiply and grow. So, what you will do is to grab a journal, a piece of paper, find a quiet place, and then the first question you are going to ask yourself is: What do I believe about myself? A lot of the time when we are unhappy is because we tell ourselves a certain narrative. A common narrative that I hear from a lot of ambitious professionals who were unhappy with where they’re at is that they tell themselves, ‘am just not where I want to be, am not where I want to be career-wise, financially from a personal stand point' and therefore because they believe that they are not where they want to be, they just have an underlying sense of unhappiness that exists day in and day out and that allows for more negative thoughts to grow. Another negative belief they may be holding onto is the most common one which is “am not good enough”. Or “ there is nothing positive, nothing good about what is going on in my life”. Or instead, maybe you are judging other people or maybe you are talking about how other people are causing your life to be a living nightmare. It’s kind of funny when we say that loud, these thoughts we have within us but the truth is they are there. They exist and it’s your job to identify them, know exactly what they sound like, what they are saying, and from there work with them.

Step 2:

Acknowledge where these thoughts came from.

Some questions you want to ask yourself are:-

a) When did I start thinking this way?

b) When did I start having these negative thoughts?

c) Where did they come from?

d) Who thought me to think and feel this way?

Although we can all develop negative thinking habits just as the way we develop positive thinking habits, one thing that I have learned and observed in my life is that more often than not, if you are someone that thinks negatively, it’s because you were thought to think negatively. You were thought to think this way. It was a habit, pattern, and conditioning that was impressed upon you by people who are closest to you, people who raised you. Perhaps, your parents. Perhaps, your Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, or Friends. People who are around you, influence your thinking patterns and that is probably the route where this negative thinking began.

The proof of context- Nature vs. Nurture. You are thinking ‘well nature means ‘a part of your personality, who I am.

When it comes to the Nurture aspect, negative thinking is a pattern or habit you have been thought from an external perspective and that is why the people we grow up with actually have played a big role in the way that we think and react to the world.

When I say that certain types of negative thinking can be transmitted to you or for example, let’s say that you grew up with the idea from your parents that you are not just good enough compared to your siblings. Maybe you weren’t as good enough as your brother or your sister, at school or with sports, whatever it may be and so you grow up feeling a sense of inferiority. You feel less than, you are not compared to your siblings and then you start feeling that you are not good enough in general and that is the negative thinking pattern that was impressed upon you. Otherwise, if someone told you that you weren’t good enough if people encouraged you a little bit more, or if your parents didn’t compare you, maybe you wouldn’t have walked the way with that pattern of thinking that, “I need to be better, am not good enough as I am”. This is why acknowledging where your negative thought patterns come from is okay.

Step 3:

Release and shift.

This final step is the most powerful because you can acknowledge the negative thought all day long. You can know where they come from. But if you do nothing to get rid of them, to eliminate them, replace them with more positive thoughts, instead of doing nothing.

Some mini-steps to take in this Step 2 are:-

1. Fully release and let go of that negative thought. Say this affirmation to yourself, “I see what you are. I know where you come from and I no longer let you have power over me. Thank you for making me realize that you are here and I am willing to now let go”.

You want to fully intend to release these negative thoughts one by one by saying this phrase to every single negative thought that you’ve been holding onto.

2) Shift from where you’re at into a more positive state. The way you do this is you are going to include ‘but' in your sentence. Say it like this:

“I know at times I feel worthless and not good enough but I know deep down that it’s not true and I’m open to getting to know my positive traits every day”.

As long as you are willing to put in the effort, to make this shift and release these thoughts every single day, you are going to be on a brighter better part for yourself and hopefully, you feel lighter as well.