How To Rediscover And Redefine Your Life.

Something's been bugging me lately and that is the fact that it seems like people feel that they have the right to tell me who I am based on who I used to be or based on minimal information about who I was in the past life. Does this happen to anyone else? Most of the time its family members, close friends, colleagues, etc. They make assumptions about you or think they know you when you have changed and grown in a way they can't even imagine? I'm tired of it.

In this post, I'm giving you a bit of my story and how you too can redefine who you are.

When you are on a journey of any kind, whether a journey of self-exploration or any kind of journey that will change the person you use to be, people around you will tend to keep you on a time frame and in a space in time and history that you have moved past and what that can end up doing is making you feel like you just don't know who you are anymore. It can cause an identity crisis. They're trying to figure out who you are now in comparison to who you were maybe a year ago or two years ago. The thing is that most times when people on the outside are keeping you in a box, it's usually because it makes them feel more comfortable.

It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with if they see that you are making certain changes. If you are making certain shifts in your life and they are not, it makes them uncomfortable, and as human beings, we don't like to be uncomfortable. Therefore, consciously or subconsciously they will make certain comments like, 'you would never do that, who do you think you are?' and a plethora of other things because it helps them stay in their safety net.

The first way that you can rediscover and redefine yourself is:

You Identify What Your Current Values Are:

Not the values you held a year ago, not the values you held ten years ago. What are your current values? What is your current belief system? Because again it changes. Things happen and your belief system, your values, and your morals might change and that's not necessarily a bad thing as long as you're not hurting anyone but you have to identify what your current belief system and values are. If you don't know that, you leave space for other people to tell you what your beliefs and values are. So, figure out your values, what is it that you stand for, your religious stance, your political stance, your belief system about some important things, etc.

Try New Things:

Try the things that you've always wanted to try but maybe you were discouraged from trying them because of what other people had to say and I'm not saying that's a bad thing. We all care about our family's opinions and our friend's opinions but don't let their opinion put you off from whatever things you've always wanted to do that fall within the current framework of who you think you are.

Do Uncharacteristic Things:

Things that maybe you're even a little afraid to do but they push you out of your comfort zone. At some point, you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone or you're not going to grow. Comfort and growth cannot live in the same space. You have to be uncomfortable to grow. When you push yourself out of your comfort zone, you redefine yourself. Yeah sure, when you do that for yourself and other people see that as well, they'll be shocked. Do something that you want to do that you're afraid to do because it will challenge you to define who you are.

Figure Out What Makes You Unhappy:

If you can identify what makes you unhappy, you can remove those things from your life. Whether it is a person, job, relationship, whatever it might be. If you can identify that aspect of your personality that makes you feel unhappy, that makes you think that life is dreary if you can identify and remove it, then you can start rebuilding relationships, situations, connections, jobs, and whatever that brings you joy and that help you feel more connected to who you are.

Sometimes you are going to get rid of toxic people to redefine yourself and know who you are today. The beauty of that is that you also get to make new friends and new relationships with people who know you for who you are now and not for who you were.